glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
