so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
