Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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