Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
