We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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