Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
