he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
