no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He? As in you personified your dick?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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