Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
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He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
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We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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