I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize