Buhtt sex?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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