I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He? As in you personified your dick?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
