The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Life is so much better after having sex.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
