whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I wear drunk well.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize