i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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