Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
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I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize