Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
