When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
