thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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