Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we're making bets on your personal life
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
