Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
