All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
