Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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