I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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