Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
