I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
