don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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