i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
