when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
