Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
