all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
