The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
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You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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