if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
