I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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