I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
