My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
