please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
