Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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