no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
no you cant smoke seaweed
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
