Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You have to summon your inner elephant
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
