That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
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I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
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Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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