He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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