5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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