Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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