Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
