Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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