Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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