I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
This is classic penis vs brain.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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