Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
