I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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