: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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