1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
