and she was petting her beer can
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
