The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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