i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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