I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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