Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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