Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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