The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
