READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
