So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My hand turned me down
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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