i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
